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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941945">Ghosts of Those Who Made Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/me_before_ow/pseuds/me_before_ow'>me_before_ow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:13:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941945</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/me_before_ow/pseuds/me_before_ow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock was in the Shi’Kar Children’s Home. His parents were killed when he was very young and he mainly remembers his mother. This is how his life goes on even when people hurt him, leave him, and love him.</p><p>***<br/>Title refers to the fact that Spock doesn’t really have anyone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Spock, Spock &amp; Sybok</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Spock is around 8 years old. Sybok is 16-ish</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Love is a temporary emotion, causing more pain than it cures. </em><br/><br/>That was one of the first things I learned at the Shi’Kar Children’s Home. Sybok, one of the few people who didn’t mind my existence, told me that. He understood my pain for he was ‘in the same boat,’ as Mother would say, as me. He was too human, despite his pureblood. He was my only friend for a long time, making him my only connection to the ‘real world.’ I respected him because he respected me and made me feel cared for. When he got adopted by a generous sponsor, I wanted to stay with him. He turned his back upon me and I lost all contact with him because he wished it to be that way. That was the epitome of pain that I felt for a long time, as I though of him as a brother. </p><hr/><p><br/>”Where is Sybok?” I asked the head of our wing, T’Pring</p><p>”He is to be adopted today,” she lowered her gaze to look into my eyes, “perhaps he isn’t as good a friend as you thought.” I know she meant to be kind to me, but I knew she was wrong. “Sybok wouldn’t leave” the ‘me’ went unsaid. “Where is he?” I asked after continued silence. <br/>“The front lobby. I do not believe his adoptive parents would appreciate your imposition on their time.”</p><p>I went down the marble staircase, anyways, not adhering to her logic. I looked around for a moment, not seeing Sybok, when I spotted him outside the plastic-aluminum door, at the far end of the recreation grounds. “Sybok!” I called, seeing a hovercar pull up. I reached him, struggling to catch my breath. I spoke his name quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me that today was The Day? And our familial bond isn’t there!” I was horrified, suddenly noting the cause for the repressed pain in my mindscape.</p><p>Sybok’s eyes were a cold black that not even T’Pring could obtain.   I stared into Sybok’s eyes, waiting for an answer that didn’t come. We continued staring until he got into the hovercar. That was the last time I saw him for the next 13 years.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>I had been told I would be able to get adopted with Spock. I tried, I truly did, but the family I was to be adopted into refused to ‘corrupt their blood’ with filthy halfbloods. I truly wanted to get into a house with Spock, but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, that I couldn’t pass up. If I rejected one of my best opportunities for someone who would die 100 years before I would, I would be illogical. When Spock asked me why I didn’t tell him about being adopted, I looked at him, just remembering our bond. It was a beautiful bond, for it was our respective anchors. I couldn’t tell him that it was because he wasn’t good enough, for he’d been hurt like that so many more times than he should’ve. I stayed silent and hoped he wasn’t hurt by my actions. The look in his eyes told me otherwise.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>... and then Khan came along...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ok. T’Pring is OOC, but I needed there to be a female who wasn’t oppressed (because my teenage mind is feeling oppressed today). </p><p>I wrote this in 17 minutes 30 seconds, give or take a few, so it probably sucks, but feedback is appreciated!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Never trust those with power, for it reverts most back to their baser, crueler, animalistic forms.</em>
</p><p>Spock’s life after Sybok was normal— unbearably so. Spock was as Vulcan as possible, as he excelled in his work, didn’t show his emotions, and didn’t react to other children’s taunts. A majority of the staff thought that Spock was becoming normal, and that his “emotional phase” was temporary, but T’Pring thought otherwise. She observed the child’s behavior, for he reminded her of the dreamer she was (is). She had noticed several unique aspects of his behavior. Instead of becoming frustrated when he experienced anger, Spock became un-Vulcanly calm. He never let anyone get close to him, and his shields were unnaturally strong. she believed that Spock’s reversion to Vulcan practices was an unhealthy coping mechanism. She started making conjectures on his condition, but then she realized that perhaps she was a bit too intrigued by the child. When he was first delivered to the home, she was curious, for he was a scientific oddity. She wondered when her scientific curiosity evolved into... she couldn’t pinpoint the emotion... caring (?) . Perhaps it was because she was also a deviant when she was younger, as she had declined the VSA after they told her that her gender and sexual orientation might interfere with her work. She was happy where she was now, but she imagined herself having a future that didn’t concern children (she had decided against letting <em>anyone</em> control her body, so pregnancy wasn’t an option, and most adopted children never formed healthy bonds with their adoptive parents, so adoption went out the window too). </p><p>Because of the... caring... T’Pring felt for Spock, she felt almost guilty for resigning, but she was 34 Revolutions, and she still had dreams to pursue. ”How emotional... I must get a hold of myself.” T’Pring was intrigued yet apprehensive of her emotional state.</p>
<hr/><p>There were very few applicants for T’Pring’s job at the Home, because it wasn’t intellectual work, and it required emotions. Most applications were off worlder’s and most were inexperienced. T’Pring was tired by the incompetence of the applicants, when her business PADD beeped, showing a message from another applicant. The oral note attached to the application went, “Hello. My name is Khan— Khan Noonien Singh and I am overly qualified for this job. I have experience with many children...”</p><p>30 minutes later, and T’Pring was slightly impressed by this... Khan. She gave him the job</p>
<hr/><p>Before T’Pring left the Home, she met with Khan. He was a receptive man, who perhaps thought a bit too much of himself, but he was acceptable in other aspects. He was intelligent, had an adaptable mind, and was accomplished at manipulating his mind. In retrospect, he was the worst candidate upon the list.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments and Kudos are appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please give comments or kudos!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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